threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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