I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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