Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
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No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
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moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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