It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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