How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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