I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize