she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
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He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
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I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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