youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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