those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize