My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Alive.
So much puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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