ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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