I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
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