your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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