If i come over, it means nothing
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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