i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
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there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
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These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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