New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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