no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
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Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Couch. On fire.
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