your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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