You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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