Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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