I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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