I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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