so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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