One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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