I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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