she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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