i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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