She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
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I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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