So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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