i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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