Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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