I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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