Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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