WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize