heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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