I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize