Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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