he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
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she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
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OPIZZABONMYDICK
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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