Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize