A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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