he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize