they need to just BURY HIM!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
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I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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