Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
either way he was missing a nipple.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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