I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize