I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize