and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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