I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize