Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize