If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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