Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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